


All The Things You Shouldn't Do In A Car

by paranoidkitten (tornyourdress)



Category: Have I Got News For You RPF
Genre: Dialogue-Only, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-30
Updated: 2009-12-30
Packaged: 2017-10-05 12:28:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tornyourdress/pseuds/paranoidkitten
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things not to do in a moving vehicle.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All The Things You Shouldn't Do In A Car

"Paul?"  
"Yes?"  
"What on earth are you doing?"  
"What does it look like I'm doing?"  
"Something very unsafe, that's for sure."  
"It's perfectly safe, you're the one driving."  
"Yes, but . . ."  
"You just have to keep your hands on the steering wheel, that's all. Think you can manage that?"  
"Yeah, I – oh God – yeah. Yeah, I can do that."  
"So glad you're able to follow instructions. It's good to know all that time at Magdalen wasn't wasted."  
"How can you do that?"  
"Do what? This?"  
"No, not – don't _stop_! – not that."  
"Oh, you mean keep up the witty repertoire while I'm getting you off in a moving vehicle?"  
"Do you have to be so crude?"  
"Yes. You like it that way."  
"True, I sup – oh God, that's it –"  
"Told you."  
"Stop gloating. Oh, _fuck_. Keep _going_, for God's sake."  
"Hands on the wheel."  
"Right. Sorry. I knew this was unsafe."  
"I could stop, you know."  
"Don't."  
"What's that?"  
"You little _tease_. Don't do this to me, Paul."  
"You're making that face again . . ."  
"I am _not_."  
"Yes, you are."  
"Oh, shut up and get on with it."  
"With what?"  
"You know."  
"I thought it wasn't safe."  
"I don't care!"  
"The rules of the road are very important, Ian. We really shouldn't be doing this in a car."  
"I hate you."  
"No, you don't."  
"No, I don't. But I will if you don't finish what you've started."  
"Will you love me forever and forever if I do?"  
"I most certainly will not."  
"Well, that's all right then. How's this?"  
"Much better."  
"Hands on the wheel, Ian!"


End file.
